i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
