I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
