youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
