Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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