She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
