the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
