White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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