I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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