You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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