careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
