I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
FUCK WHALES
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
