i think my mom watched the whole time
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
