OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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