ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
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