i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I've blown a few things in my day
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
