I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
