I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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