Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
im six kinds of drunk right now
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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