that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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