pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
