i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I will be naked everywhere
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You can't just leave with hair like that
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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