addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
