nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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