Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
