yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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