matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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