I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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