vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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