You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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