In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize