make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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