Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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