I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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