There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
