He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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