im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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