1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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