Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You can't special order awesome
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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