So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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