The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
