we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
a search helicopter?!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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