Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke