Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.