That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
