She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
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not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma