so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
