Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
