So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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