You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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