he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
