Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
