i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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