My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm both gender and math confused
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
