i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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