I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
