You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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