the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
