Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
