the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
