Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
