she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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